Our 14 year old, er, 4 year old, is in an "interesting" phase right now. She is such a sweet, loving, funny kid with a kind heart, but MAN is she keeping us on our toes right now! We still think it's stemming from this new sibling thing, but she has been challenging lately, to say the least! I guess I'd rather have it that way than for her to take it out on Marek. At least everything about her cannot get enough of him right now. But our days are filled with prayer on my part - for PATIENCE and wisdom as to how to handle her in the best way. There is a lot of sass coming out of that sweet mouth, and she's been very disobedient lately. I'm constantly left scratching my head because no form of discipline seems to work. We have 3 garbage bags full of toys sitting in our garage that she's going to have to earn back. After asking her to clean up her toys repeatedly, I eventually get to the point where they are just shoved into a bag and taken away if she's not going to take care of them. The first time she was upset by this. The second time (when she had yet to even get back the other ones): "Mom, are you giving away my toys to the poor people?", "I might," "Which toys are in there?", "Lots," "Huh. (shrugging her shoulders and returning to her task at hand)." We do time outs, we do banishment to the bedroom, we spank with a wooden spoon, we take away treats, we take away things, we take away storytime and snuggles at bedtime (though I realize now those aren't good to take away), we take away TV and computer time, I give her some time with me to play in case she's starving for attention... It doesn't seem to matter. But we're plugging away, trying to stay on top of it, and not let her get away with anything. We're trying to be very cognizant of showering her with smooches and tickles and silliness like we do with Marek. Some days are downright awful and have me questioning what on earth made me think I could do a good job at this parenting thing, and other days are good and rewarding. Through it all, I try to remember that someday I'm going to long for these days again, no matter how challenging they are. And believe me, I get that, and I thank God every night for these days. That these are my challenges. Because it means I have these two beautiful children here in my life. There are many heartbroken parents out there who have lost their children to tragedies that would give anything to have challenging days with their children again. And I do feel very thankful. Blessed beyond measure. This is the stuff that dreams are made of. But this parenting thing IS hard, and I'm sure this kid thing is just as hard on my girl. I have a friend that always says she's giving her 5 year old LOTS of material for therapy later on in life. I tell her Ellison and her daughter will carpool. I feel like I'm ruining her, and I so badly don't want to fail her. So when you're all grown up and reading this Ellison, maybe even as a mother yourself, know that you went through these difficult phases, but that we wouldn't trade you for the world. And I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry. I pray every day to be the mother that God wants me to be, and that you and Marek deserve.
On a lighter note, here are some goings-on in our Ellison world...
So here is how clever Miss Ellison is. In our house, "stupid" is not a word we are allowed to use. So when she's angry with me, she'll start to spout off nastily, "You stu..." and stop short. As soon as I address the fact that I know exactly what she's trying to say, she comes back with, "Mo-om, 'stew' is a soup!"
So here is how clever Miss Ellison is. In our house, "stupid" is not a word we are allowed to use. So when she's angry with me, she'll start to spout off nastily, "You stu..." and stop short. As soon as I address the fact that I know exactly what she's trying to say, she comes back with, "Mo-om, 'stew' is a soup!"
She has been caught on several occasions now saying, "Bammit!" when she can't find something or she forgets something. She actually had no idea it wasn't a good thing to say. I'm trying to not make a big deal of it, but keep telling her that's not a thing we're allowed to say in our house and how it doesn't sound nice. Jonathan. ;-)
One of Ellison's favorite TV shows right now is "Jem and the Holograms"! Blast from the past. The music and the animation completely give me the willies. I was telling her about it one day since I remember liking all things Jem for a short time as a kid. Now Ellison's addicted. She's often heard around the house grabbing her earring and saying, "Showtime Synergy!".
She's back in a phase where she's constantly dictating our playtime conversations. "Pretend (this), then you say (that)".
She's into directions. Throughout the day she'll ask me directions to a certain room in the house, as if she's a stranger. Like, "Ma'am, could you tell me where the bathroom is?", then I have to tell her things like, "It's down the hall and to the left."
She likes pretending she's an orphan. (!) (And frankly, who could blame the girl?!) Ha! She goes into an elaborate story about how her name is Ellison from Tanzania, and how both of her parents died by touching poison ivy, then I have to play along that we want her to come and live with us, and Marek can be her new brother, and "Pretend you had this bedroom all ready for me."... "(Gasp) Is all of this for me? Did your husband hang these decorations for me?"... "What's your husband's name?"...
Interestingly, Ellison has gone back to needing a daily nap. And she does SO well with it. Every day at 1:30ish, I tell her she has to have quiet time in her room, with the door closed, and she can read books or do anything quietly, but she cannot come out until I come and get her. She doesn't even spunk about it. Within a few minutes, she's out cold. My fear in doing this was that we'd have an awful time afterwards, because she does NOT wake up happy from naps. So I've had big talks with her that she has to wake up in a happy mood, then she can earn one toy back from the garbage bag. It has worked like a charm! I actually think the biggest thing that helps is that it works out that I get Marek when he wakes from his nap, then we go gently wake Sissy together. She is always excited to see him, even out of a dead sleep that would normally render her Cujo. Amazingly, she even goes to bed pretty good still that night.
One thing we hear out of her SEVERAL times a day is, "Just teasin'!" It's gotten a little out of hand, because sometimes we seriously cannot tell if she's telling the truth, and the second we start to talk to her about it, she grins and says, "Just teasin'!" This is a work in progress. But I hear it in my sleep now, she says it so often. She's all about telling jokes, too, even silly ones that don't make sense. :-)
When we begin to lecture her, she covers her ears. Ahem. Yeah, she's gonna have to learn to tune us out without us really realizing it. I'm sure she'll master that by the time she's 13.
One thing I'm totally loving about my Ellison: she has such a joy for life. So many things excite her and animate her. I have often had to tell her to tone down the volume of her voice; that is, until I realized why she does it. I never gave it any thought, just had to tell her to calm her voice down sometimes (especially now that she has an often-sleeping brother). But one day my mom pointed it out: how she loves how excited Ellison gets about things. And it completely dawned on me then. Yes, it is so cool to see Ellison light up over seemingly simple things. I try to shut up more now, and take it for what it is. It's very cool to see a joyous heart.
Ellison has been such a friendly girl, lately. When we are at the pool, she does such an awesome job striking up conversations with kids her age, then will come and tell me about her "new friends". She now knows to ask them their name, too, but it's so sweet to watch her be so friendly, and to be so excited to make new friends. Watching that face light up during those new interactions is the best.
As I've mentioned in other posts, Ellison just loves on her baby brother like crazy. She seriously cannot get enough of his cheeks, and just lights up when he's around. If he's been asleep for a while, she begs to get him up. If she's been playing with someone, she'll just suddenly try to find Marek so she can given him a kiss. She honestly misses him. Her new routine is to be the one to go into his room when he wakes up, then she crawls up into his crib to greet him and mush on him, then calls me and tells me I can come in now. And she wants to be the one to open and close his bedroom shades. She draws the line at feeding him his veggies, though, as she gags if the pureed food gets too near her. :-)
When we begin to lecture her, she covers her ears. Ahem. Yeah, she's gonna have to learn to tune us out without us really realizing it. I'm sure she'll master that by the time she's 13.
One thing I'm totally loving about my Ellison: she has such a joy for life. So many things excite her and animate her. I have often had to tell her to tone down the volume of her voice; that is, until I realized why she does it. I never gave it any thought, just had to tell her to calm her voice down sometimes (especially now that she has an often-sleeping brother). But one day my mom pointed it out: how she loves how excited Ellison gets about things. And it completely dawned on me then. Yes, it is so cool to see Ellison light up over seemingly simple things. I try to shut up more now, and take it for what it is. It's very cool to see a joyous heart.
Ellison has been such a friendly girl, lately. When we are at the pool, she does such an awesome job striking up conversations with kids her age, then will come and tell me about her "new friends". She now knows to ask them their name, too, but it's so sweet to watch her be so friendly, and to be so excited to make new friends. Watching that face light up during those new interactions is the best.
As I've mentioned in other posts, Ellison just loves on her baby brother like crazy. She seriously cannot get enough of his cheeks, and just lights up when he's around. If he's been asleep for a while, she begs to get him up. If she's been playing with someone, she'll just suddenly try to find Marek so she can given him a kiss. She honestly misses him. Her new routine is to be the one to go into his room when he wakes up, then she crawls up into his crib to greet him and mush on him, then calls me and tells me I can come in now. And she wants to be the one to open and close his bedroom shades. She draws the line at feeding him his veggies, though, as she gags if the pureed food gets too near her. :-)
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